Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so! Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but he is strong! Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so!
These are the words I sing to Brayton every night. These are also the words that came to me in the waiting room of Blair E. Batson today while we waited for Brayton's procedure to finish to see if his airway was improving. For the first time in the 26 years that I have known this song, I actually paid attention to the words. At that moment, it went from a child's song to a song of comfort. This was my thought process:
Jesus loves me. Jesus loves Brayton. Brayton belongs to HIM. Brayton is weak, but Jesus is strong. Yes!!!! Jesus loves me!!! YES!!!! Jesus loves Brayton!
Little did I know that a few minutes after that thought, I would get more bad news.
Bad news seems to be something that I have just gotten use to. I don't even think that I get shocked about things anymore. Everytime I get my hopes up, something else happens. Here is what we found out today:
Dr. Reed thinks that Brayton's airway looks WORSE than it did last time. He strongly believes that acid reflux is causing the swelling to be so bad in Brayton's airway. SO... we are meeting with a general surgeon tomorrow at 1pm to see about having a nissen fundoplication surgery. This is where they wrap part of the stomach around the lower part of the esophagus in order to squeeze the esophagus shut when the stomach contracts to push acid up. I will know more about the procedure and when it will be done tomorrow. Bottom line is that this will help the swelling go down so that we can see what is going on with Brayton's airway better.
Of course, this was NOT the news we wanted to hear! And the best advice I have received relating to how bad this sucks was from my Aunt Nancy who said, "This might be the miracle we have been praying for. Surgery for acid reflux might give way for his trach to heal itself"...wow! How very true that is!
So I will keep my Faith even when it seems that it is not helping. I will continue to pray for a miracle. I will continue to smile! I will use the strength God has given me to get through this situation! I will love my family and I will treasure every moment with my son! God will not forsake us! HE will get us through this in HIS way in HIS time! Prayer warriers, keep praying!!!
Jesus loves me! He will stay, close beside me all the way. He's prepared a home for me, and some day His face I'll see. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes!!!!! Jesus loves me!!!! The Bible tells me so.
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