Welcome to my blog! This is mainly the story of my son, Brayton Cade Moak. His life is a testimony to me, and many others. I hope this blog encourages those of you who are going through difficult times, who have sick kids, who are lacking faith, and who need a reason to believe in miracles. I never thought that I would see a miracle, much less give birth to one. My son, my precious angel, is my miracle. His story, as well as his father's and my story, will hopefully fill your spirit with love! God is good!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Brayton's Prayer

I just typed a really long blog and I lost it!  So here it goes again:

A lot has happended since my last post! First, we reached our 1 year mark for having the tracheostomy. It was a day full of thoughts about all of the laughs and cries that I have missed out on, and also thoughts on how blessed I am to be able to see Brayton's smiling face every day!

In November, we went for a scope. There was a little bit of improvement!!! Words can't express how good those words were to hear!

We go back on Dec. 11 for another scope. I told my mom a few days ago that I wanted to write a short rhyming prayer to get everyone to pray. The only thing that kept coming back to my mind was a prayer I prayed while Brayton was in the hospital getting the trach and it doesn't rhyme at all. The prayer was, "God, please heal Brayton's airway perfectly and completly!" Such a simple little prayer but with so much power!

I have passed this prayer around and so have others. The more I think about the prayer itself, the more I realize that it truly is the perfect prayer for my miracle! You see, Brayton, like the prayer, is little (weighing in at a whoppin' 19lbs after a stomach bug this past week) and simple. He is easily amused, he smiles at anything and he is simply a happy baby boy! Yet the most AMAZING thing about Brayton to me is the POWER he has! He has the power to make me or anyone else for that matter do pretty much anything he wants! Haha. But he also has the power of God pouring out of him at every point in his life. In his short 16 months, God has worked wonders through him. My son is God's messenger. Lives have been touched. People we have never met, send me facebook messages telling me how he has touched them. It is AMAZING!

So, I ask everyone to please, please pray what I have decided to call "Brayton's prayer"...simple words with A LOT of power! I KNOW that God has something amazing in store and that only HE can heal my sweet man! All it take is "a little improvement" at a time!


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Brayton's First Birthday

It is been a year since I gave birth to my sweet Brayton! As I sit and take time to reflect on everything that has happened, I find it hard to believe that we have gone through so much in such a short time!

God has truly blessed me and my family in so many ways! Life has become a precious thing to me. So has poop, baby sounds (ANY sound), first steps, and so many other small things that people take for granted. If things had been different and Brayton had never gotten sick, I think I would be like other parents wishing my kid would just shut up or complaining because he is running all over the place and breaking things. But because of what all has happend and knowing that Brayton was gone for a few seconds before he was revived, I try not to take a single thing for granted. I wish I knew what his voice was like...his cry...his laugh...I thought he was going to be behind on walking because he was in the hospital for 2 months, but at 10 months, he took his first steps and is now EVERYWHERE which I am loving! His smile never stops and each smile reminds me of how lucky I am to have him in my life!

Brayton is my HERO! I never thought a hero could come in baby form. I always thought it had to be someone older that you look up to, but my little son is every definition of a hero!

We have been through a lot and still have a long way to go! Brayton is 19lbs 4.5oz which means he is 3lbs away from surgery! :) Fear and Excitement come from this news! Fear of surgery and excitement of being trach-free! My little miracle has to keep on fighting! And I am certain that he will fight the whole way with.... a SMILE!!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Just the dark before the morning...

It has been a while since I have blogged! I have been one busy momma! Alot has happened!!! Luke and I enjoyed our first Mother's Day and Father's Day! Brayton has been as happy as usual! However, we still face trials everyday with the trach!

This past Monday was a crazy day for my little miracle! My mom went with me to Dr. Shann to do a trach change. I noticed over the weekend that Brayton's bottom was a little red. Dr. Shann looked and said it was just from sweating, BUT Dr. Shann noticed when he looked that Brayton has an inguinal hernia!!! SOOOOO... we will be going to Jackson July 6th for a meeting with the same general surgeon who performed the Nissen Fundiplication on Brayton so that we can schedule surgery to fix the hernia!  Needless to say, I was upset. I am just not sure how much more my little one can take! we are hoping that they can do the surgery the same day that he goes for his next scope (July 17th). However, we are not certain they can do both the same time.

Monday night was also pretty rough to add to our crazy, bad news day! I gave Brayton a bath as usual and Luke helped me change Brayton's ties. Well, I was holding the trach in place (you barely hold it against the skin, you don't put a lot of pressure because the airway is so sensitive) and Luke was taking the ties off. Well, Luke had one side off and was working on the other side when Brayton grabbed the end that was off and jerked. The trach came out of his airway! I hollered, "Oh crap, get his neck back" which scared Brayton who started crying. Luke pinned his shoulders down and I got the trach back in and we finished putting new ties on. Scared me half to death, but Luke and I both did a great job staying calm and taking care of it!

Brayton has discovered that when he pulls his "nose" off, he can stick his finger in his trach. Yes, it is funny, but I am scared this means that he will be pulling the trach out on his own soon. Someone has to be watching him constantly!

Despite all of the stress and tears I have shed this week, I still have hope. These trying times are "just the dark before the morning" and they "can't compare to the JOY that's coming" ("Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson). I just keep telling myself that Brayton is the happiest baby I know, God is in control, and one day, this will just be a memory!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


It has been a while since I have blogged. A lot has happened. First, Brayton has come a LONG way since his Nissen surgery! We went for another scope last week and for the first time in 7 months, we received good news! The swelling in Brayton's airway is beginning to go down. Now, the doctor who was once 99% sure that we would face a major reconstructive surgery, is not sure if it will be necessary! Praise God Almighty!

My little man is right on track developmentally! He is crawling all over the place, pulling up, and getting into EVERYTHING! I love it! He has 4 teeth and is getting more! I can tell already that he is going to be a handful and I am going to soak up every moment of it!

Monday, May 7th, we are going to a speech pathologist in Jackson. We mentioned to Brayton's doctor that he gags when we feed him little puffs and foods with texture. He thinks this is because he was intubated for so long, so we are going to see what we need to do in order to start getting him eating thicker foods!

Please continue to pray for my little one! He is truly proof that God exists, He loves us, and He heals!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Surgery Complete!

Brayton had his surgery 2 days ago! Things went great! My little man was smiling and playing the day after surgery! I can't describe how he was acting... He was completely normal, if not happier than normal! The day after I have surgery, I am in the bed in pain!

Words can not express how much Brayton means to me! He is an inspiration to me! I wish I had half the strength that he has! His smile the morning after surgery was the most precious thing I have ever seen in my life! There in no doubt that God has massive plans for this boy!

I really can not describe my feelings in words... This child is a unique blessing and gift from God! His joy is contagious! He is my precious miracle angel! Love beyond description!

I am so unworthy to be this angel's mother! But I know how blessed I am to have him and I know God chose me to be his mother for a reason! I just hope I don't make any mistakes!

Our God is an awesome God!!!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Upcoming surgery

As I continue healing from sinus surgery and a tonsillectomy, I am also preparing myself for Brayton's second surgery of his life. The first was when he received his trach and we were very unprepared for it! Next Wednesday, March 21, Brayton will undergo yet another surgery. This time, we are prepared and know what to expect. The surgery will be on his stomach to stop acid reflux. This must be done to stop the acid reflux from irritating his airway so that it can begin to heal!

I keep wondering when this will all end, but then I remember that God will not give us more than we can handle! The strength I have had to deal with all of this only comes from God! I thank God for trusting me with this little life and for choosing me to be Brayton's mom! I am thankful for the opportunity to grow and to hopefully be a Godly example for others!

I want people to know that God will get you through anything! If HE brings you to it, HE will bring you through it!

Keep praying for strength for me, for Luke, for our families, and especially for Brayton! This little guy is proof that God exists, HE loves us, and HE performs miracles!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so! Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but he is strong! Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so!

These are the words I sing to Brayton every night. These are also the words that came to me in the waiting room of Blair E. Batson today while we waited for Brayton's procedure to finish to see if his airway was improving. For the first time in the 26 years that I have known this song, I actually paid attention to the words. At that moment, it went from a child's song to a song of comfort. This was my thought process:

Jesus loves me. Jesus loves Brayton. Brayton belongs to HIM. Brayton is weak, but Jesus is strong. Yes!!!! Jesus loves me!!! YES!!!! Jesus loves Brayton!

Little did I know that a few minutes after that thought, I would get more bad news.

Bad news seems to be something that I have just gotten use to. I don't even think that I get shocked about things anymore. Everytime I get my hopes up, something else happens. Here is what we found out today:

Dr. Reed thinks that Brayton's airway looks WORSE than it did last time. He strongly believes that acid reflux is causing the swelling to be so bad in Brayton's airway. SO... we are meeting with a general surgeon tomorrow at 1pm to see about having a nissen fundoplication surgery. This is where they wrap part of the stomach around the lower part of the esophagus in order to squeeze the esophagus shut when the stomach contracts to push acid up. I will know more about the procedure and when it will be done tomorrow. Bottom line is that this will help the swelling go down so that we can see what is going on with Brayton's airway better.

Of course, this was NOT the news we wanted to hear! And the best advice I have received relating to how bad this sucks was from my Aunt Nancy who said, "This might be the miracle we have been praying for. Surgery for acid reflux might give way for his trach to heal itself"...wow! How very true that is!

So I will keep my Faith even when it seems that it is not helping. I will continue to pray for a miracle. I will continue to smile! I will use the strength God has given me to get through this situation! I will love my family and I will treasure every moment with my son! God will not forsake us! HE will get us through this in HIS way in HIS time! Prayer warriers, keep praying!!!

Jesus loves me! He will stay, close beside me all the way. He's prepared a home for me, and some day His face I'll see. Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes!!!!! Jesus loves me!!!! The Bible tells me so.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Held in the arms of God

As I rocked my little angel tonight, I found myself staring at his sweet face and thinking about that horrific night that he crashed in Brookhaven. This thought made me think about the book, Heaven is for Real. My sweet boy's heart stopped beating for just a few seconds, but I wonder what happened in those few seconds. If you have read the book, you know what I am talking about. That 4 year old boy sat with God and talked to his grandpa. He was only away from Earth for a few seconds, but his time in heaven was longer than it seemed here on Earth.

So I thought about God holding my sweet one in His big safe arms. I can picture Him telling Brayton that everything is okay and that He is sending Brayton back to his mommy and daddy. I imagine God telling Brayton all of His plans for Brayton's life. God must have told Brayton to be strong, because Brayton came back fighting with all he had! He struggled to breath for several weeks after the ventilator came out and before we discovered the injury to his airway, but he never gave up again!

In the book, the little boy spoke to his grandpa. I can imagine the people that comforted Brayton and prepared him for the struggles he would face in the following months. Aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins that have all gone to heaven already. I thought of Uncle Garland, Aunt Corinne, Aunt Nelda, Uncle JP, Pawpaw Esco, Granny, Mawmaw Susie, Pawpaw Grover, and many many more. I know they were all there to talk to Brayton while God held him close.

I mentioned in an earlier post, I think, about Brayton smiling his first real smile in the hospital after he got his trach. You have all seen pictures of his big smile! This smile never stops unless he is exhausted. I didn't realize it until tonight while I held him and thought of all these things, but I know why he always smiles now...He has seen God. He was held in the arms of God. No wonder he smiles all the time! He knows that there is more than this struggle that he is facing! And with that, I believe that I should never stop smiling too, because God is holding us. We are safe in His arms! Thank You, God, for taking care of my baby boy! Thank You for the fact that we are all held in your arms!


Wednesday, February 1, 2012


A lot has happened since my last blog. First, we went for Brayton's scope surgery. We were told it still looks the same. There is a 90% chance of a major surgery. The other 10% is because our doctor believes that miracles can happen everyday! Brayton can't have surgery until he is 22-24lbs. Based on the growth chart, he should reach that weight around 18 months.

Brayton turned 6months old on Jan. 25th! He had his 6month check up as well. Dr. Shann said that Brayton is perfectly healthy! Brayton weighs 14lbs 10oz and is 26in. long! He is growing!

Brayton has also come a long way developmentally. He is sitting up by himself without wobbling for 30min at a time! And he, of course, thinks it is the coolest thing ever!

The other big thing that has happend to Brayton the past few weeks is that he attended his first ever Bogue Chitto ballgame! That is right! I took him to watch Aunt CC coach in her heels. Watching him watch the game was hilarious! He was so amazed! He literally watched the girls run up and down the court. He cried when the buzzer sounded, but then got use to it. The first game experience was a hit. If Brayton could talk, I am sure he would say, "It was like TV except better!"  Haha. It was truly priceless.

We have another special Brayton event coming up.......Baby Dedication!!! Luke and I will dedicate our sweet one on Feb 12 during morning worship. I never truly knew how important this was until I had a child of my own. It is not just a public act, but it is a commitment to God that we are going to do everything in our power to bring Brayton up God's way. I just pray that God leads us and that we follow and that Brayton becomes everything God needs him to be!

My Theme Song for Brayton:

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Refiner's Fire

Malachi 3:3 "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver."
Psalm 66:10 "For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver."
Refine: to free from impurities; to bring to a pure state

To refine silver, Silversmiths hold a piece of silver in a fire and let it heat up. They must hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames are hottest in order to burn away all the impurities. The silversmith must sit in front of the fire the entire time to keep his eye on the silver because if it is left in the fire too long, it will be destroyed. How does the silversmith know when the silver is fully refined? He can see his image reflected in it.

Do you ever stop and think of this when you are going through a hard time in life? God is our refiner. He may put us in the fire, but he knows just how long we have to stay in there without being destroyed. When we become pure, His image is reflected in us and we can be a witness for Him!

God has definately been refining me through this whole ordeal. I feel that I have come a long way, but I still have a very long way to go. The good part of being in the fire is being able to know that my God is watching and making sure the fire does not overcome me. I want to be God's image. I want to live in a way that pleases Him and shows that He alone is worthy of our worship and praise. Praise God for these trying times when we can draw closer to Him and feel the peace and love that can only come from God above!

I pray that God sees His image reflected in my family soon. However, I know that God's timing is best and only when we are completely pure will we be removed from the fire.

God, please continue to heal Brayton and let us get good news next Tuesday! Thank you for bringing us this far. Continue teaching Luke and me that our ways aren't as high as yours are and you alone are the key to peace and happiness! Please continue to bless our sweet angel that You have allowed us to borrow! Help us to help him be all that you need him to be! In Your precious, holy name, Amen!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Change of Plans

Well, we were suppose to go to Jackson for a procedure today. However, when I called Friday, they did not have us on the schedule!!! So now we have to wait two more weeks!!! Frustrating? It depends on how you look at it.

This is actually the second time that we have been pushed back. We are suppose to go every four weeks. One other time, I called them to find out that the doctor was on vacation so we got pushed back one week. It does get aggrivating, but when you stop to look at it from a different point of view, it is not that bad.

Sure, we have to wait two more weeks before we find out if there is any improvement or not, but Brayton also has two weeks to  improve even more. When we went in December, Dr. Reed told us that there was a little improvement but it still looked bad. Nurses told us that Dr. Reed is not one to say it is getting better unless it really is. The times before December, we were told it was still bad and not any better. So December was the first time that there was some improvement.  Now it will be six weeks in between procedures! Brayton has two extra weeks to heal!

I am praying that God uses these two extra weeks to heal my little one's broken airway! He alone knows what he is doing and his timing is everything. Even though I wish we could have gone today to find out news, God knows what is best. We will go January 24th!!!

Plans change, but Jesus will still be there!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

New Year, New Hope

The new year has begun! As I look back on 2011, I am so thankful for all of the good and bad times! I feel that I have grown closer to God, and I have a new outlook on life and how fragile it is.

This will hopefully be the year that Brayton gets his trach out! We go to Blair E. Batson on Tuesday, January 10 to do another scope procedure. Hopefully, the results will show improvement!

Brayton has had the trach for a couple months now. It has become routine to clean it, change it, and do all we need to do. I am thankful that we were trained well and that we are more comfortable dealing with the trach. Even though, it is all becoming routine, I can't wait to get it taken out! I want to hear my baby babble and coo and say my name! I want to give him a bath without worrying about getting water in his trach. I want to be able to take him to the beach.

Parents, don't take the little things your children do for granted. If they cry and wake you up, be happy instead of complaining. When they bug you saying, "momma, momma, momma," soak up the fact that they are saying your name.  When they splash water out of the tub, be thankful that you don't have to worry about them getting water in their lungs and drowning.  Every breath they take, praise God that they are breathing and not turning blue! Soak up every moment you have with them. Shower them with kisses and love!

This year, my prayer is that by December 31, 2012, Brayton will be trach free! I will pray it every day from now until then! I have faith that my God, the ultimate healer, can accomplish this! I know that there is a bigger picture to all of this even though I may never see or know what the big picture is!

Praise to God for life and this new year of hope!