Brayton Cade Moak

At 10:31pm on July 25, 2011, Brayton Cade Moak was born! I was induced at 6am that morning so it was an extremely long day! However, it was all worth it and I gave birth to a healthy, 7lb 1oz, 21in long baby boy! Never have I experienced such a feeling than holding my son for the very first time! There is nothing like it!

Luke and I came home with our baby boy and got to experience the joys of parent hood: getting peed on, getting woken up in the middle of the night, trying to comfort a crying baby. Good times! Little did we know that those cries that woke us up every night would be short lived.

When Brayton was 4 weeks old, he became constipated. According to doctors, this happens to a lot of babies. We gave him juice and medicine and thought nothing else about it. By the end of that week, Brayton gradually stopped eating. He was eating about 4-5oz every 4 hours. Then he went to 3oz, 1oz, then stopped completely. He began to sound very congested, making gurgling sounds. His cry became very hoarse and weak. Of course, this happened on a weekend so doctors were out of pocket! On a Sunday, Brayton was just not acting right, he still wasn't eating, and still sounded congested. I called the children's clinic and got the nurse on call who told me to take him to the ER because he might dehydrate. We loaded up that afternoon and went. They sent us home saying it was just a cold. We went back home with a fussy baby who wouldn't sleep. My mom ended up spending the night that night. Brayton was not doing good at all so early Monday morning, I called the clinic again and got the same response. So we went back to the ER. Apparently, because Brayton was "not dehydrated yet" according to doctors, there was no need to admit him. It was "just a cold." By this point, my "mother's instinct" was kicking in and I was determined to get answers.

We waited until 8am and called the children's clinic who told us to bring him in ASAP. So we went there. Dr. Braden took one look at him and said he was getting him a room in the hospital. They admitted him with bronchitis on Monday, August 29th.  We had a very rough night at the hospital. My mom and I stayed with him that night because we thought it was nothing major and would be fixed soon. On Tuesday, Brayton was not any better. When Luke got off work, he came to the hospital and he was planning on staying that night. He and I talked about how Brayton looked worse than before. Brayton had started moaning and had become very floppy. He had no facial expressions or muscle tone. His oxygen level kept dropping. I literally stared at his machine all day watching the numbers. When Dr. Braden came by, he said if Brayton wasn't better by morning, we were going to UMC.

Later that night, Luke and I were talking to the nurses about going ahead and taking Brayton to Jackson instead of waiting. I am so glad the nurses were in the room because all of a sudden, Brayton's oxygen level dropped, his lips turned blue, and the nurse said it was about to get very crowded in the room. We both grabbed our cells and walked out while the nurse started CPR and the ER team came in to do their thing. I was a complete wreck. I called mom and told her I needed her there now that Brayton stopped breathing. Luke called his dad. It was a nightmare. I was shaking like crazy and couldn't stop.

The nursing assistant who takes temps and blood pressures asked if I needed a blanket. I told her no that I was just scared. She wrapped her arms around me and began to pray. I have never felt God the way I did in that moment. All of a sudden, I felt calm and I was able to pull myself together.

The first family member who arrived was my sister. I have never been more happy to see my loving sister in my life. In the next few minutes, my parents, Luke's parents and siblings, aunts and uncles and pastors (yes, plural. Living in a small town means you know and love every preacher around here and they are there for you even if you go to another church!) showed up. Thank God for such a great support system!!!!

By this time, the ER team and Dr. Braden had Brayton stable. I was able to go in and rub his hand. They had a breathing tube in my tiny little man. It was hard to see, but I wanted to touch him and let him know that his mommy was there. The Batson pediatric helicopter transport team came to transfer him to Blair E. Batson. We were unsure if anyone would be able to ride with him so Luke called his dad who was in Vicksburg and told him to go straight to Jackson instead of coming to us so that someone would be there when Brayton got there. I sent my parents on to Jackson too. The rest of the family waited with us.

When the pediatric team got Brayton stable and ready to go, they asked if I wanted to ride with them! That was a given! I wish I could say riding in a helicopter was awesome, but really, I do not remember much. I was given a headset so I could talk to the guys in the back and the pilot. The guys in the back with Brayton got the pilot to put them on private so I couldn't hear them. I don't know what happened and it is probably a good thing! The main thing I remember is seeing a shooting star. It dropped right in front of the helicopter. I think that was God's way of telling me he was there and closer than I thought. The entire ride took 15 minutes!

Getting to Batson is a blur. I just remember having to wait until they got Brayton set up in a room before we could see him. When we did get to see him, he looked so small and fragile and the machine was breathing for him. It was scary.

Every time I remember this night, I remember how lucky I am to have my son. Because it all went by in a blur, I never realized how close we came to losing him until I looked back on what happened and let myself remember the details. Praise God for saving my son's life and for doctors and nurses who are amazing at their jobs!

Before I end this part of my story, let me just say that this was by far the hardest thing I have ever been through! My one and only son died for just a few seconds, and I was never so afraid in my life. Looking back, when I think about this, it reminds me of God sending his one and only son to die for us to save us from our sins. He knew Jesus was going to suffer and die and he let it happen. I know for a fact, it is not an easy thing to watch your son struggle. I have a whole new outlook on what God and Jesus did for us!

Through this entire experience, God has revealed himself to me. First with the nursing assistant praying, second with the shooting star. As I continue my story, you will see that God was there. He was, is, and always will be...